Keiyi's Writers' Spotlight: Abigail Handojo

The following is a cross-post of Keiyi's interview-style spotlight.

Link to original post on Substack: https://substack.com/home/post/p-149083437?r=4drcq0&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Keiyi (K): Hi Abigail! For those that don’t know you, please share as much as you’re comfortable with about yourself. 

Abigail (A): Hi Keiyi! I’d like to start by thanking you for the opportunity to share my writing journey and experiences. What you’re doing is incredible and I’m amazed by what you’ve been able to create! 

My early years were filled with storytime, books as presents, and library visits. I was a reader long before I was a writer. In truth, I hadn’t read much poetry throughout my childhood. Learning about spoken word was eye-opening for me since it’s an art that combines my two loves: poetry and acting. 

K: You started writing more (poetry and stories alike) during the quarantine, how do you think writing helped you through it? Why did you choose to continue down this artistic path post-COVID?

A: Quarantine was what plotters would call my “inciting incident.” The lockdown was rough and, as a creative, I turned to writing in my times of solitude. Writing was a comfort I wouldn’t have survived without. 

The world returned to some sort of normalcy just as I began high school. Previously, I wrote online under a pseudonym and while the anonymity sheltered me from taking critiques personally, it also meant compliments weren’t taken personally either. There was a disconnect from community. Post-COVID, I set out to perform across SoCal in pursuit of human rapport. Joining Inland Empire California Writers Club my Freshman year was only the beginning!

K: Now, going from this more secluded form of writing in your own room, without coming into contact with other people, to open-mics and performing poetry in front of bigger crowds, what do you think is the difference between simply putting words on paper to reading it aloud and emoting the poem? Is one less effective than the other? How does your involvement with theatre perhaps aid this? 

A: When I am drafting a poem, it is only mine. The process is messy, vulnerable, and self-serving. I dispel emotion and wrangle with it until somewhat suitable for the public eye. When I bring the poem to an open mic, I’m sharing these feelings with others. In terms of intellectual property, it is still mine, but emotionally, it also belongs to the audience. They can interpret my words in ways I did not initially intend and relate my feelings to their own experiences. It’s beautiful.

In regards to which is more effective… I would argue that the written word can exist without performance but performance may not exist without writing. Performance enhances written work because the delivery of a line can influence its meaning. I’ve spent more time writing than acting, so my improvisation skills are lacking. This is why, my performance would not exist without writing but I cannot say the same for more experienced actors. 

On the Abigail Handojo timeline, theatre is within the space labeled “junior year.” Spoken word poetry and open mics have been a part of my life since freshman year, so technically it would’ve been my earlier exposure to an audience that prepared me for theatre. Ironic. Middle school debate taught me what I know about public speaking: enunciation, projection, and inflection. However, since I’d never formally taken a drama class or had a speaking role in a play, previous attempts at “acting” were untrained. 

Now that I’ve had the honor of acting as Tranio (Taming of the Shrew) and Olivia (Tweflth Night) at Shakespeare in The Vines’ Summer Camp Productions, I can confirm that I’ve learned new ways to improve my performance. However, whether it’s evident that I’m practicing what I’ve been taught is up to the audience. 

K: You’ve recently self-published a chapbook, ‘Attached’. (I watched the interviews on your podcast, and I am so inspired by your writing process and storytelling!) From writing to marketing, could you walk us through the process of self-publishing: what was difficult or unexpectedly fun about it? What are your thoughts on traditional vs. independent publishing? 

A: Deadlines inspire productivity. I’ve been wanting to put together a chapbook for quite a while (mostly due to the supportive prodding and poking from the writing community), but my own self-inflicted pressures were keeping me from taking action. The first step to publishing is getting over the intimidation of the idea. Assigning Attached as my school-graded passion project was likely the best thing I could’ve done for myself. Check-ins kept me motivated to reach the next benchmark and made my goal seem more achievable.

I’m overjoyed that you took the time to watch my interviews with Alexis! To summarize my process in a list:

1. Manuscript

   1. Collect poems 

   2. Table of Contents - part into sections

   3. Acknowledgments

   4. Notes

   5. *Workshop manuscript

2. Cover

   1. Create an over-arching concept

   2. Design art

   3. Synopsis

   4. About the Author

3. Publication

   1. Familiarize with Amazon KDP

   2. Fill in necessary details

   3. Set prices

4. Review

   1. Order advanced readers copy (ARC)

   2. Fix any mistakes

   3. Publish

Of course the project wasn’t as linear as this may suggest. 

Difficulties: expectations, doubt, deadlines, having to rely on others for critique, reading own work repeatedly, learning how to navigate Amazon KDP for the first time.

Unexpectedly fun: endless possibilities, deciding which poems should make up the book, talking to other writers about the project’s process, holding ARC in hands for the first time.

Marketing and promoting Attached would reside in the center of the Venn diagram — where “difficult” and “fun” intersect. When dedicating time to my YouTube, I feel I am neglecting my podcast. When turning my attention to Instagram, I fear I’ve forgotten my blog. Social media can be a tool for artists unheard… but I haven’t had such luck yet. Rather than hopping on trends or 0.1-second reels, I will aim for quality over quantity. My open mic reels are longer than certain platforms’ attention spans, yes, but I will not downgrade to get views. One person watching my performance until the end holds more worth to me than mindless likes without listening. 

I have, however, enjoyed marketing my book in person. In May, I was Poetry With Purpose’s author-of-the-month and I managed to sell all the copies I had brought. A line of people had gathered for my signature and that was the first time I felt like an actual author. Meeting my readers face-to-face was such a memorable and formative experience! 

That last question is tricky. Plenty of writers have warned me about traditional publishing. How there’s less flexibility of choice and uncertainty of whose hands the money might end up in. Then again, there’s this nagging misconception that independent publishing is a shortcut for those who cannot be published by anyone but themselves. Self-publishing is tough because you are your own advocate and advertiser. I originally planned on self-publishing to get my work out there and build a reader base in hopes of publishing the traditional route down the road. Either way, there are pros and cons for both methods and neither should discount a writer’s ability. 

K: Well said! Let’s pivot to themes: I find the candour in the philosophy and psychology behind your writing fascinating. You’ve talked about the iceberg theory, the inner child, making emotions private and public through poetry, art having to mean something, and even religion. What is something you can’t write about without getting uncomfortable, and does the whole process of putting your life, your thoughts, your person into writing and publicising it ever truly get comfortable? 

A: Thank you for noticing! Having taken philosophy and psychology classes, I find joy in incorporating what I’ve learned into my poetry. There are many things I cannot write about, let alone speak about, such as politics and racial identity. The first I don’t see as relevant to the image and brand I’m trying to build. That last part doesn’t make me uncomfortable, it just hasn’t sparked enough emotion for me to consider writing about it.

I struggle with choosing what parts of me (aka poetry) I should keep for myself or share with the public. On one hand, the best poems I’ve written also happen to be my most vulnerable. On another, how much am I allowing a stranger on the internet know about me?! No, it hasn’t gotten comfortable yet. Perhaps it will someday. 

K: I recently watched a Ted talk on how almost 50% of our generation’s time is spent looking at screens. As somebody who is a part of Gen-Z, do you think being online or writing on a computer takes away from the writing process or your own expression? 

A: No, I do not believe writing on a computer takes away from the writing process. Some of my poems build off my text messages or fragments from my notes app. Others are thoughts I recorded on voice memos or lines transcribed from old diaries. There is convenience in writing without pen and paper, accessibility in having a plethora of poems stored in my phone, efficiency in backspacing and rearranging lines, and security in saved documents. 

Then again, it has presented writers of our generation with the challenge of constant distraction. As with all things, I believe a balance is to be achieved. Handwriting with a well-used pen on a well-loved journal is irreplaceable. The writer should decide which method suits the making of their poem best.

K: Let’s lighten up and do a flash round! What’s your least favourite word ever? 

A: Ones that don’t mean anything. I’ll get back to you once I’ve learned more words.

K: Favourite drink to have while writing?

A: Matcha latte. Iced water. Anything that won’t run out so I can continue writing for an extended period of time. 

K: Shakespeare character you relate most to? 

A: Well I can’t just pick one.

Hermia, Midsummer Night’s Dream - “Though she be but little she is fierce!”

Portia, Merchant of Venice - man-saving girlboss

Olivia, Twelfth Night - “That’s a degree to love!” delulu queen

K: A poem/book/quote you can’t stop thinking about? 

A: I’m aware this is a flash round, but such a good question doesn’t deserve a short answer. 

Poem: “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. I quote it on the daily. 

Book: The Alchemist by Paul Coelho. As a writer, I was irked. As a human being, I was edified. 

Quote: “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” Emma by Jane Austen 

K: Favourite font to write in? (Mine is Times New Roman, obv ;))

A: MLA has been engrained into my mind since Elementary. The rare times I stray from the pre-programmed Times New Roman 12pt font, I use Actor, Cambria, and Garamond. 

K: Ideal place for your writing to end up in? (Library, English classroom, trash can…)

A: Reddit - for people to interpret and discuss. 

K: “Maybe I can use it to floss my teeth/Tie it into knots or braids or bows/Bead and pray the rosary on it/Bind a book I haven’t written yet” What did Temecula do to you?? What was the backstory behind your poem, Strings? (One of my favs!)

A: Haha, it really has less to do with Temecula personally and more with outgrowing your hometown – more on that in my latest poem Tourist Trap. Strings combined my love-hate relationship with this city and a Chinese myth called “The Red String of Fate.” It’s similar to the concept of soulmates, except it’s materialized by an invisible/red string connecting the lovers no matter what. Such a concept may seem comforting, but I took Strings as a chance to view the myth in a cynical light. As if to say, “why does free will matter if I’m already bound?” or, using the city as an analogy, “is the reason I want to leave because I feel like I’m forced to stay?”  

K: To wrap things up, one final question: it’s every poet’s dream to join the ranks of the greats, the John Keats, the Sylvia Plaths on bookshelves, and I wish you good luck on your journey there! But…what advice do you have for poor English students who have to study your work? And any final messages for fellow writers out there? 

A: Oh my, I can only dream of seeing my name on bookshelves and (heavens forbid) on future English students’ homework (not in my lifetime)! But, if I had to give the poor dears some advice, I would suggest that they study philosophy, psychology, and flower/name meanings before taking up my work. Also, don’t scrutinize my rhyme schemes or structure. If I didn’t think much of it, neither should you. Then again, no matter what I say, they will likely end up squinting for meaning in the lines I wrote carelessly yet skipping over the phrases I placed purposefully. Remember kids, poetry is supposed to make people feel something, not to make people feel like chucking the book across the room and never reading poetry again. 

My final message for fellow writers would be the briefest thing I’ve typed this whole interview: “Write even if no one will read it. Do so to satisfy your soul.” 

Thank you again to Keiyi for featuring me!

Follow her on Substack: https://theuncannyandtheunfamiliar.substack.com/